An Interview With Steve Jencks
Steve Jencks is an illustrator that runs the design firm Retro DC who does amazing illustration and web design work. Some of his illustrations will blow you out of the water and he has one for sale of the classic horror movie They Live up for sale at his Online Roadside Store. That’s not why he matters here though! (I know real life accomplishments just aren’t important these days.)
Steve matters for a completely different reason. He is the creator of the website – Lost Highway which is the ultimate source of B-Movie reviews and survival tips. He is a living legend in the B-Movie genre for writing reviews in a style that is more fitting for the films than anyone else is able to pull off. (Go check it out – after reading through the review of course!) Just to toss him a bit more promotional shout outs as Steve and I are friends did I mention he has a slew of really cool shirt designs for sale?
1) How did you get started writing on B-Movies?
I’ve always been into schlocky cinema ever since my parents bought one of those monstrous top loading VCR’s. We had a small local video store in our neighborhood and I loaded up on as many tapes as I could, hiding them mostly in my back pack so my parents didn’t see them. So much beasts, blood, and breasts for a young boy to handle…did I mention the breasts? My buddies and I would watch them all out in our backyard fort which we had electricity running out to while gorging ourselves on junk food and soda pop. So I’d guess you’d say I’e been raised b-movies and heavy doses of caffeine. It’s scary that I vote and drive a car huh?
Quite a few years back I started this little off shoot on my design business’s website (www.retrodc.com.) It was just initially just a glorified links page with some quick reviews of movies/comics/and videogames – typical geek stuff. About 3 years ago I took that basic idea and built a WordPress blog and that allowed me to really focus in on just movie reviews. I called it Lost Highway, though not based in any part on the David Lynch film. I was thinking more of the roads less traveled…off the information super highway!” cheesy…yes I know but so are the movies we watch. Drive-in Dan came on a few years back as my business partner on the site and he does reviews as well and helps with managing a lot of the nuts and bolts and promotions for LH. Our dry wit style really has seemed to struck a cord with an audience out there and we’ve been steadily growing. It’s keeping us insanely busy but it’s a heck of a lot of fun.
2) What is both your favorite zombie film for quality and favorite B-Zombie film?
The original Dawn of the Dead tops them all. When I first saw this film it totally had me hooked in. Nothing against the original NOTLD which was down right creepy but the sense of impending doom and how society could just so easily break down terrified me more than some people arguing in a farm house. I also think it had a bit more of the campiness b-movie flavor that I gravitate towards and the soundtrack by Goblin is oscar worthy in my opinion.
As for B-grade zombie action I’d have to go with “Dead Alive” you know that zombie movie before Peter Jackson lost his mojo?…so much bloody gorey fun and just when you think you’ve had enough, it’s time to bring out the old lawnmower and chop up some zombies.
3) What are the top 3 B-Movie Tips that you would follow if there was a zombie outbreak?
a. Pretend to be a zombie and just walk slowly around them be sure to grunt and moan..zombie are incredibly stupid.
b. Trip the guy in your survival group that you hate when you’re trying to get away. It will buy you extra get away time.
c. Cover yourself in zombie goo. You’ll smell like a zombie and they can’t track you.
4) What are the top 3 pieces of non B-Movie advice you would give if an outbreak occurred?
a. Don’t listen to anything the emergency channels tell you to do. any supposed “safe spots†are already overrun.
b. Grab a military survival book. you’re going to need it.
c. Load-up on water and food and take the backroads away from populated areas.
5) What is your zombie survival plan?
Well depends on how long the zombie outbreak takes. If there’s enough warning time to prepare, then I’m going get as much supplies as I can, water, food, seeds, tools, etc. and head for an isolated area up north. Hopefully a small cabin somewhere with a cliff at my back and inclined rugged terrain in front so the zombies would have a tough time climbing up. Set up some trip wires detonators.
If there’s no time and zombies are busting in the windows I’d probably head to Sam’s Wholesale. Limited windows and entrances. Lots of food and water supplies and there ain’t no way that guy that checks the ID cards is going to let any zombie through and I could dub myself King of bulk foods!
6) The eternal question – fast or slow zombies?
While it’s more scientifically accurate that zombies would be slow moving(yeah I wikipedia-ed that.) A fast moving zombie is hell of lot more terrifying when it comes running at you. You really don’t stand much of a chance in that scenario. With slow moving zombies if people can work together early on it could be handled. a 1000 zombies running at full speed…it’s game over for you and the rest of humanity.
7) There is a trend on zombies having intelligence these days, what are your opinions on this?
Intelligent zombies? Sorta seems like an oxymoron don’t it? Sure it’s fun and campy to give the zombie some dialog like “send more paramedics” or “would you like fries with that brain?” but to really keep zombies terrifying you should limit their dialog to grunts and moans. These are real monsters that are running on pure animal instinct and won’t stop to be reasoned with or show mercy.
8) What would be your weapon of choice against the undead?
Machete…no reloading.
9) If you had to pick one actor to be stuck on the run with your band of survivors, who would it be and why?
Abe Vigoda…because he’ll be recognized by the zombie hordes as one of their own and help sway the zombies from attacking us.
10) If you had to hide in any of the following, which would it be: A house in the middle of nowhere, a mall, an old army base, a sieged city, an island, or try to keep traveling?
Give me an isolated island, a volleyball I can talk to, and some fresh fruit. If Tom Hanks could do it I sure can. Even small populated islands would be easier to handle because you know no more zombies are coming. Well unless there’s some sort of carnival cruise of the undead docking at port.
11) If zombies are considered the ‘undead’ what does this mean for marriage vows?
Little known fact: zombification occurs sooner in the male because the women sucks the life out of them sooner. ha! ouch…ok now my wife won’t stop punching me. Again proving my point…ouch.
12) What animal would you enjoy see be turned into a zombie?
Penguins…they already terrify me with their beady little eyes and webbed feet and they already walk like the undead. A zombie shark would be pretty bad ass too though.
13) And finally what do you think caused the zombie outbreak?
I think the zombie plague can all be traced back to a bad cup of Wendy’s chili somewhere in Newark.
