REVIEW: Attack of the Vegan Zombies!

When a married couple’s farm produces ANOTHER year’s worth of bad crop for producing the wine they make and live by the wife, Dionne goes to her mother who is a witch. While she has turned her back on the ancient craft that flows naturally through her family she has her mother help her cast a spell to help save the next year’s crop so they don’t have to either move or lose their vinyard. Wine? Witches? Where are the undead?

Well instead of the usual science and classic voodoo we are used to on where the zombies come from we have them created from witchcraft gone wild. (I’m pretty sure that was also the name of a bad porno.) Basically the ritual used required human blood and the husbands was volunteered without his knowledge. The problem was Joe was drinking that night and the alcohol in his blood may have caused a problem, though the crop did seem to come in quite well. With the successful crop the couple “hire” one of their friends who is a teacher to hire a few of his students to work on the last of the crop while they take a break. A teacher, 2 geeks, and 2 women show up to help out and its clearly setup themed off of classic B movies everywhere to show us who exactly are going to have issues.

I do have to warn you that while it has some classic B-Movie scenes to it you are going to be watching an independent film while you see it and it absolutely shows through. Some of the acting and editing is a bit painful but overall enjoyable regardless. It follows the B-Movie horror genre in so many aspects it’s exactly what you you’d expect. There is a clear cut explanation on why there is first no cell phone service and later when they are required to be cut off from civilization why the phones are out. While many B-Movies are happy to show off the full female frontal I do warn those who are used to the abundance of nudity in standard B-movies you only get one scene. While the picking of the grapes starts out going fine the error in the spell soon brings forward the true problem – the vines have become alive and want the wine they are making. Yes the vegan aspect starts here but gets so much worse as it will drain the blood of any who have had the wine to reclaim the alcohol it wants so badly.

Magic safety tip: Don’t use blood full of alcohol when casting spells.

So how do the vines drain the blood from these people? If you’ve seen the first Evil Dead movie (and if you haven’t stop right here and buy it immediately) you’ll remember how the trees went around and attacked people. Think of this as the exact same thing aside from vines that the grapes grow on (and no attempted plant / human rape.) When they have finished with their snack they turn the humans into zombies of a sort. Zombies that are literally green from now being part plant. Here’s a geek reference for you – Star Trek the original series alien women green. It’s almost a little too distracting but with the hinted at plant explanation you can buy the lack of what we are used to for zombie makeup and run with it. I’m not going to lie to you and say this is one of the best films of all time to get. I am going to tell you though if you can deal with an obvious independent film that is going for that B-Movie feel you should get a kick out of it. The Evil Dead styled plants are classic, the lesbian scene is sadly not long enough, and most importantly there is a scene with what reminds me of a meat grinder (clearly something for making wine but I couldn’t begin to guess what it is.) Overall that is exactly what it is – A fun film that could have used a bit more production money to really polish it up to be a great B-Movie.

Available at Amazon.