While this is an interesting read it suffers from several issues. First and foremost, grammatical accuracy followed by poor editing and ending with lack of research. The proper use of grammar in any written work is essential as it allows the reader to better understand what the author is attempting to pass on to them. That being said, I’ll move to the other issues within this work.
As the storyline develops, the readers are introduced to Commander Peterson, who is some kind of Special Operations trouble shooter that is called upon when things get their worse. His team, made up of every conceivable cliché and stereotypical tough guy persona from every action film ever made, come across as one dimensional with little to no significant details. Sadly, much like Peterson himself. The only female on his team, Sharon, seems to be the epitome of all tough, female leads that have appeared in film and print for the last 20 years. But, she carries an MP5 ‘Assault’ rifle. While this weapon addition may seem like nothing to most readers, it is an issue as the MP5 is actually a submachine gun made by the German company Heckler & Koch. While there are 168 different variations of their Machine Pistol 5 that encompass 7 different trigger groups, not one of their MP5’s can be referred to as an assault rifle.
As you can already tell, this was not a technically accurate novella.
When Peterson is briefed, a 0100 briefing which translates to 1am in the morning, we find out that his mission is to take his team to Plum Island and retrieve data pertinent to the zombie outbreak. That plot should have been able to carry the story all by itself but it didn’t.
I found most of the story to be distractive with incredibly poor writing and bad subtext. None of the characters had any kind of personal growth with no major details or sufficient background to establish a connection with the reader.
Regrettably, I spent most of my time attempting to compensate for the poor research in regards to equipment and weapons used by the characters or mentioned within the book. Case in point, one character ‘bolts open the breach of his rifle mounted under the barrel grenade launcher’. Yeah, I scratched my head on that one too. References to ‘banana clips’ punctuated with non-existent assault rifles tore the interest away from the main point of the story.
Several passages refer to emergency vehicles and how their sirens flash. I’m sure this was meant to refer to the light bar mounted on top of most of those vehicles as sirens only make noise and don’t physically flash. Other issues revolve around a lack of proper description when referring to real world objects. One particular section that I found amusing was the mention of snapping a clip into a weapon, adding a new round of ammo. That sequence is a bit confusing as modern firearms haven’t used a clip since the old M1 Garand rifle. The term ‘clip’ refers to the stripper clip that the M1 used and is still used incorrectly to this day by novices who lack the knowledge of proper terminology. A round is a single bullet, so adding one round is not as important as chambering a new round. Another issue in that section references a squadron of soldiers which is usually something an air wing would have, a squadron I mean. Only one known unit in the US Army used at one time the term ‘squadrons’ and even then it most likely a rumor.
When Peterson and his team finally get headed out for their mission, their helicopter, a UH60 Blackhawk has suffered a fuel leak from the errant firing at their secret compound. While this fuel leak precipitated a sub-plot forcing them to land to refuel, it was not a plausible reason for that to happen as the Blackhawk has self-sealing fuel tanks to prevent just this kind of problem. But, it was part of the plot so off we went.
Once the team is permanently grounded, they encounter survivors and the confusion begins again as they are introduced to a Captain Jones who later becomes Sheriff Jones for the rest of the story. It’s during this section that we are introduced to a state trooper who dons a mustache. That is something I’d just love to see happen.
Peterson’s team helps this mix of police and civilians secure a hospital where the remaining action takes place. Inside the hospital, the survivors find out that somehow the cable is still working and are able to view recent news. One such newscast is described as National Guardsmen in gas masks looking wide-eyed and afraid. Hate to break this to you, but with a gas mask on or a MOPP hood and mask, you’d be pretty hard pressed to tell if they were wide-eyed behind all that gear. Within this same description is the lovely mention of assault machine guns. This cracked me up. While the average reader may not have caught all or any of the issues I’ve mentioned up to this point, they should catch this one no problem. Machine guns are suppressive weapons designed to keep the enemy’s head down and their forces pinned in place allowing friendly forces to flank and engage them. They are not considered assault weapons no more than the MP5 is considered an assault rifle.
Dead Again, Book 1 of the Zombie Diaries was an interesting read, the grammatical issues, spelling problems, poor editing and lack of due diligence research didn’t make this an enjoyable read.
Don’t get me wrong, this story has great potential. It just needs a bit more work and polish.
The key to remember, when using real world equipment, aircraft and weapons; research and accuracy is vital to convey the thought and idea you are attempting to pass on to the reader.
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