Zombeer
Developed by Moonbite Games & PadaOne Games
Platforms: PC
January 30, 2015
Reviewed by Jess Landry
With a name like Zombeer, you can bet your bottom dollar that this is a game that’s campy, crude, and yeah, kind of fun.
In a nutshell, you wake up in a bar after a night of drinking only to find the world’s been overrun by zombies. And you’ve been bit.
Armed with a pink dildo (a surprisingly effective weapon. Huh.), it’s up to you to rescue your girlfriend at the nearby school while maintaining a steady supply of Zombeer – the only beverage that can keep you from joining the ranks of the undead. If you fail to drink the beer when your meter tells you, then kiss your humanity good-bye. But if you drink too much, you’ll meet the same fate. Truly, a game about drinking in moderation.
Zombeer is a first person shooter (don’t worry, you’re not stuck with a dildo the whole time) that doesn’t really require a lot of skill as there’s always a steady supply of Zombeer and ammunition to be found, and the enemies are all quite easy to dispose of. The best part of the game are its many pop culture references with nods to Super Mario Bros. and Hellraiser, among many others. The developers also left audio commentary hidden throughout the relatively short game (I clocked in at under three hours) that offers insight in the creation process. It’s neat to hear a behind-the-scenes take on creating a game, but the commentary felt out of place in the main storyline.
The graphics aren’t overly complicated either, but one of my biggest complaints is the female character design. Every woman in the game is scantily clad and has disturbingly bouncy breasts (you guys know that’s not how boobs move, right?). Women now make up the largest gaming audience, so if you’re going to objectify them, you might as well do the same to the men in the game. I mean, fair is fair. Maybe some overly-floppy dongs in the sequel? Anyway, the overall design of the game is nice – there’s some real vibrant colours and set design throughout the school. Great uses of neon greens and reds add to the campy nature of the game.
I did have a major technical issue with one area of the game. When approaching the library, the player is prompted to to hit the letter L. I tried many times and failed many times (assuming I was missing a key because the graphics were lagging) so finally I took to Google and found the Steam message board where others were having the same issue. Turns out, a completely different key sequence needed to be pushed at that time, so had I not searched for it, I never would’ve passed it. If this is something that ended up in the final product, that’s just plain sloppy.
Another issue was the serious lack of an ending. The developers stated in the in-game commentary that they ran out of money while making Zombeer. After the final boss fight, you’re prompted to pick between three doors. One is the proper “ending,†while the others are not. Although I enjoyed the pop culture nods behind two of the doors, the third and actual “ending†failed to wrap any storyline. Instead it uses that…billowy female character design to try and cover its shortcomings. Sorry dudes, you can’t use your Jedi boob trick on me.
Overall, Zombeer is somewhat entertaining for what it is but the cons outweigh the pros. Considering that the game is currently $10.99 (Canadian) on Steam, that it lacks a proper ending and that you can finish it in under 3 hours (assuming you don’t get the library glitch version), it’s probably best to spend your hard-earned money elsewhere.
