Alright you Minions, listen up! You see this? This is my boomstick [Tee Shirt]! I wasn’t always like this; I had a real life, once. That is, until some light reading from an ugly book I found awoke something evil. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. If only I had let that travel agent talk me into a ski trip instead of going into the woods, everything would have been groovy. So remember minions, shop smart. Shop J!NX-Mart. You got that? Okay, now gimme’ some sugar, baby.

When under siege by countless hordes of flesh eating zombies, all one has left to do is scream “RELOAD!” and hope someone hears you. Keep your hand steady on that trigger, for an endless stream of fire from those heaters is the only hope for survival. Sure, you can try to run, but zombies never rest. So, my friends, I ask you: when the walking dead come, will you be ready?

The J!NX Crew hates exercise. Unfortunately, from time to time life demands that get off your kiester and bust out a 10K fun-run. With that in mind, the mad scientists at the J!NX Kickass Laboratory of Leetness (JKLOL) created the ultimate energy drink! One sip and you’ll just start running… you won’t even know why, but you’ll keep chasing the guy in front of you forever (or until your legs fall off). Side effects include cannibalism and undeath, but that’s a small price to pay, right?