You want to write a story for a zombie anthology?

You know you want to. C’mon, admit it. I mean, this isn’t like sitting in front of your television watching Shawn White own the half-pipe on his snowboard, Drew Brees dissect a secondary, or Tim Lincecum throw his freakball to strike out Albert Pujols. You want to do it…and what’s more, you know you can. You want to write a story for a zombie anthology.

It is not even a question as to whether or not you’ve read a zombie anthology and thought, “How in the hell do some of these people get published?” Let’s be honest with ourselves here. It’s just me…and you…and the flickering computer screen. So, say it with me. Out loud. Ready? Okay…here goes.

There are some terrible, horrible, mind-numbing, time-devouring, zombie stories being published and I can do better.

That, my friend, shall be our mantra. Now, you got it in your head, so it is time to set down and create THE STORY. Here is where I can be of no help. You have an idea, so run with it. Write it and rewrite it. Put it away for a few days, then pull it out and clean it, polish it, and rewrite it again.

Okay. Now what?

You need to let your baby go out into the big wide world. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you hear Carrie’s mom chanting, “They’re all going to laugh at you…They’re all going to laugh at you!” Ignore her. She’s crazy. Still, a word of warning, somebody might point…might laugh. If you can’t handle that possibility, stop writing and stick to being a fan or critic. But that is a subject for an entirely different column. I say save those rejection letters as the badges of honor that they are. (figuratively, if I were Stephanie Meyer, JK Rowling, or Stephen King I’d incorporate those people that rejected me into my Christmas card list (I can be petty.)

You’ve written a story. You’ve cleaned it up as much as possible. Now what? There are a couple of avenues—and a lot of back roads—that you can take. First, I suggest you go to the websites of some of those publishers whose anthologies you have read. Check their sites for announcements for what they have coming up. additionally, I suggest sites such as Duotrope. You can also send out a tweet “anybody known of a zombie anthology that is taking submissions?” I liken that to standing out on a street corner and yelling, “Fresh fish!” (wait, what were you thinking? ooo…somebody has a dirty mind).

Okay, great. Now you know who’s accepting. What you have to do next is very important. READ THE SUBMISSION GUIDELINES! That might seem like a silly thing to say, but after compiling my first batch of zombie shorts for May December’s premier anthology, Eye Witness: Zombie I stand humbly corrected. And thus, I reach the crux of my article.

While it may seem silly, certain aesthetic points (i.e. courier font type, size 12, double-spacing) serve a purpose for editors. Also, if you read a few hundred thousand words a week, your eyes need as much help as you can give them.

Then, there is the theme. If the publisher asks for “traditional” (read: Romero style) zombies, and your opening theme has four zombies in cowboy hats, sitting around a campfire, roasting a California senator, discussing global economic woes…your story DOES NOT FIT! Don’t think, “yeah, but my story is freaking awesome!” Real example, I have an anthology in the pipeline, First Time Zombie. It is for as of yet unpublished writers: the chance to bring some new blood to the party if you will. I ask for presently unpublished writers with a zombie story (no type restrictions…fast, slow…writer’s choice ect. ) to submit three -10000 words curor font type size twelve font double-space. I actually received a witch story 1200 words, single spaced, times new roman! Additionally, this individual had a full page of credits on an attached resume. My only question was, “how is this person seen in print!” Oh wait…they have a reputation and a “semi-known name”

And here is where I plug my own company. At MDP we don’t care what your name is. Now, before you get “more” offended, let me explain. All submissions for MDP anthologies are forwarded to a three-person review team—minus byline. We don’t know who we accept or reject till after the story has been read and voted “thumbs-up” or “thumbs-down”. But I can assure you, no matter the publisher, if they want cowboys and you give aliens…your story will be dumped in the garbage can. If you don’t have the luxury of anonymity, you can find your name on a “black-list”.

So what have we learned here? Try hard, read the rules, and don’t take it personal if you’re rejected. It’s not brain surgery, folks. And one more thing…support your favorite press, be it permuted, the Library…or even May December.