One of my favorite novels of the last few years was Max Brooks’ WORLD WAR Z. It was a fascinating tale, a sort of mockumentary about the survivors of “The Zombie Warâ€. Rich in detail and complex in scope, it is an absolute classic of the genre. Its impact has been felt for years after its publication. People who wouldn’t normally read zombie genre books picked up WWZ and enjoyed it immensely. In a perfect world, this is where the story would end. An absolute classic, untouched and pure.
As you well know, we do NOT live in a perfect world.
You might have heard that Hollywood has gotten their grubby little fingers on the rights to WWZ, and have been trying to get a film version made since forever. Hollywood pretty boy Brad Pitt and his production company snapped up the rights to the project, apparently hoping to turn it into a big budget action spectacle. I mean, who can blame him? Zombies are big business. The success AMC has had with THE WALKING DEAD (highest rated program in their history) proves that Zombies (when done right) has a built in target audience.
Of course, the operative term here is “done rightâ€.
Right off the bat, this project started going off the rails when the plot of the movie started to completely go against the book. In the book, the Zombie War had already happened, and the narrator was essentially interviewing survivors as they tried to rebuild. The movie was going to put Brad Pitt’s character (A UN employee. Seriously? WTF??!) as he raced around the world trying to stop the oncoming apocalypse.
OK, I thought to myself. WWZ is a hard project to film. Let’s take a few deep breaths and have a little faith. Brad Pitt is mostly enjoyable, and the director, Marc Forster has a few watchable movies to his credit. I sat back, WWZ still on my hotly anticipated list.
Then shit started going really downhill.
Filming in Hungary, local authorities busted the production for having REAL weapons on set. (Note to the Prop department: Way to go, dumbasses.)
Then the production stalled, forcing the studio to push the release date back six months. Rumors of reshoots, script troubles and other such nonsense began to leak out. Brad Pitt and Marc Forster were reported to not be speaking to each other. Still, through all the nonsense, I kept the faith. I mean, this is a zombie movie, for Pete’s sake! It’s not like you are James Cameron trying to shoot TITANIC. How hard could it be?
Too damn hard, apparently.
The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that after months of trouble, Paramount Pictures has approximately 52 minutes of usable footage for their rough cut. Let me repeat that number again for dramatic effect.
52 Minutes. More than six months of shooting, and all they have is 52 minutes.
Things got so messed up, Paramount brought in LOST co-creator Damon Lindelof to COMPLETELY RE-DO the movie’s third act. Lindelof, who was partly responsible for the movie “Prometheusâ€, saw the shape of the production and the footage that was actually viable, and did the one thing any normal, clear-thinking person would do.
He bailed. Got out while the getting was good.
Look, I know how this crap works. Movies go through this all the time. Reshoots, more reshoots, reports of trouble on the set. None of this is new, especially in the focus group controlled offices of Hollywood. What’s troubling to me, and pisses me all the hell off, is quite simple. WWZ is a zombie movie. All you need is a few cameras, some willing actors to have gooey makeup applied, and a love of the genre you are dabbling in. Having a decent script BEFORE filming is always a bonus too. You cannot have a coherent story at this point in the process, and I fear my beloved WWZ will go down as one of the biggest bombs in Hollywood history.
I have a friend in the UK who is involved in an independent zombie film called “Welcome to Essexâ€. This is a bare bones production, made by fans of the genre FOR fans of the genre, with a budget that wouldn’t even cover the catering tab for WWZ. I am looking forward to seeing “Welcome to Essex†a lot more than WWZ, and that thought leaves me with some mixed feelings. On one hand, “Welcome to Essex†is made by true zombie fans, whereas WWZ is essentially a load of crap put together by committee. It’s still WWZ, though. How can I stay away?
Quite easily, actually. This is my pledge to you, and to the Hollywood establishment. Fuck you, Hollywood. I will not spend a single dollar on your cinematic abortion of one of my favorite books. I sincerely hope anyone reading this will follow suit. Avoid the film version of WWZ when/if it comes out. Let the drug-addled suits who ran this into the ground know that they cannot count on the goodwill of zombie fans if this is how they plan on treating us. Creating a mess of a movie and labeling it “World War Z†is just wrong.
Oh, and if you get the chance, find a copy of “Welcome to Essexâ€. Show some love to the true fans. You’ll feel better in the morning.
