Here at Buyzombie.com Global Headquarters, every so often we like to take a little time out of our busy day to check in with you, our loyal viewers and readers to see what you have to say. We can lose track of time bringing you all the latest and greatest in Zombie-related awesomeness, and sometimes we forget that your opinions and feedback are needed. I think it is high time we open BZ’s mailbag and see what you, the everyday working joe, has to say.
*Ed.Note- Don’t let Chip fool you. This is a lazy and half-assed attempt to complete his legally agreed-upon article submission requirement. I don’t frankly care what he is trying to pass off as an article. He still isn’t getting his cat back.
Our first letter comes from Shawn in Virginia. He writes…
“Hey, dumbass, why you like zombees so much? Don’t U know vampires are way cooler?â€
Shawn is obviously a Twilight fan. Say hi to Edward for us! And, isn’t Bella just stunning as a vampire bride? I mean, I know Kristen Stewart sucks as an actress. Now she can suck as a character too.
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Our next letter comes from Charlie in North Carolina.
“OK, so in Shaun of the Dead, what exactly happened to Dianne, the short chick in the pub? Her boyfriend got yanked through the window and had his guts yanked out? They never show what happened to Dianne. The hell is up with that?â€
Well, Charlie, I know in the SHAUN DVD extras, there was an animated epilogue to explain what happened to her. As it added nothing to the story, and I might have been blitzed on Everclear and gummy bears at the time, I don’t remember exactly what happened to her. I just chalk it up to “Editor was asleep at the wheelâ€, or more likely, “Editor was out back fooling around with the hot, young PA who looked like Kate Upton.†Your call which one works best for you.
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D.N.S from Ireland asks..
“Dude, zombies are so 2008. Have you seen the new Dark Knight movie? It’s FREAKING awesome! Dark Knight all the way, losers!!!â€
Mom, what have I said about taking too much Nyquil before bed?
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Jeremy from Puyallup,Wa asks…
“I told you already, stay away from my girlfriend! I’m tired of calling the cops on your sick ass! If I catch you outside her window again, I’m going to chop your –EDITED FOR YOUR PROTECTION- and make you walk all the way home dressed like that!!â€
Um, next question.
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Rebecca from Ohio writes us with a rather thought-provoking question…
“If you could pick anyone from History to be your sidekick during the Zombie Apocalypse, who would you choose?â€
Optimus Prime. Those damned Zombies wouldn’t stand a chance.
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Jason F, who says he’s from Bumblenuts, North Carolina, writes..
“Who needs the Zombie Apocalypse? Ever been to Wal-Mart during the Holidays? That’s scary shit, bro!â€
Yes. Yes, it is.
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Amy (No location given) writes in…
“Hey, moron, why can’t my lawyer get a hold of you?!? You are three months late with the alimony and child support, and if-“
And we’re done. Thanks again to everyone who submitted questions and letters to our editorial board. Remember, if you have a question or comment for the Buyzombie writers, please direct them to buyzombie.com/contact, or you can send them to us via Twitter at hashtag #fatchancewewilleverreadthis
