A Zombie’s History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA’s Secret War on the Undead by Dr. Worm Miller
History is always fun to pay attention to. It’s said you can learn fro your mistakes so knowing the history of the zombie outbreak in the United States can help prepare us for the next outbreak. We can find the strengths and flaws in previous defenses and know what to and what not to do. Zombies don’t have a good way to evolve to working strategies since if they are working you are killing them – no change for them to learn!
After years of stealthy research in the vaults of the CIA and the FBI, the author of this shocking book provides disturbing proof that centuries of systematic suppression by Democrats and Republicans alike have kept secret the darkest truth of America’s past. Now someone has finally brought to light the 500-year history of America’s most invisible minority. From indigenous cave paintings of the walking dead to the fossilized remains of chewed-open skulls, the archaeological record shows that zombies were active in the Americas long before the first Europeans arrived. As it turns out, those brave souls in Jamestown and Plymouth didn’t merely confront hostile Indians and a harsh environment, they found themselves face to face with the living dead! Throughout every era, the living dead played a pivotal role in our history, but the government has held down and kept secret its zombie underclass. Now more than ever, as immigration and terrorism challenge America’s future, it is vital that every American hear the real story of U.S. history and come to terms with the zombies living among us.
From colonization and revolution to World Wars and global hegemony, A Zombie’s History of the United States tells the powerful and moving stories of this country’s living-dead underclass, including:
- The zombie massacre of European colonistsat Plymouth Rock
- The gruesome killing of a zombinatedMeriwether Lewis by his fellow explorerWilliam Clark
- The doomed defense of the Alamo againsthordes of the attacking undead
- The heroic, platoon-saving charge into a hail ofGerman fire by an undead Lt. Audie Murphy
- The top-secret NASA missions that launched(and often lost) zombies into space
- The anti-terrorist program to stop theweaponizationof the zombie virus
Available at Amazon
